Elysium
by dixie-bella
Summary: Elysium: The dwelling place of the blessed after death. A state or place of perfect bliss. / He sees ghosts and tries to ignore them. She would give anything to be able to talk to one. He's the only one that can help her, if only she'd trust him.
1. One

**ONE**

**The first of many disappointments**

My parents had tried to have a son for years before they had me. They would've adopted but it was my mom's dream to have a baby of her own making. You can't say she wasn't persistent. For almost 9 years they tried and tried and tried, until one miraculous day her doctor informed them they were gonna be the proud parents of a (hopefully) healthy baby. To say my mom had been excited was an understatement, I was meant to be the joy of her life, her fucking savior, her one and only.

No pressure.

My dad, even though he'll never really verbally admit it, had dreams of me becoming a surgeon like him. The thing about parents is that even though they say they'll accept whatever you choose to do, you can still see the disappointment glistening from their eyes when you don't follow the script they've written for you. I knew I was lucky, my house wasn't a dictatorship, but then again being an only son has some unwritten expectations that are hard to live up to. I stopped trying a long time ago.

When Carlisle and Esme met in college, never in their wildest dreams they thought they were gonna end up married. Whenever my mom tells me the story of the first time they met she never fails to mention how at first sight my dad's display of bravado, even though it was meant to charm her out of her pants, rubbed her the wrong way. It took him a whole semester getting her to accept to go out on a date with him. What a pussy my dad.

So after marrying straight out of college they decided a child was the missing piece that would complete their oh so perfect home. I was destined for greatness in their eyes, and after almost a decade of waiting and expecting there I was. Only I wasn't what they hoped for.

The first time I saw a ghost I was five. I was at the park playing in the sandbox while my mom talked to other moms about mom's stuff. I was a very sharp kid even back then, so when I felt a sudden chill I knew something was up. Every parent feels the biological need to remind their progeny never to talk to strangers from the moment they're conceived, and I was no exception, so as soon as I noticed someone watching me I looked for my mom.

She was still talking to her friends and I wasn't particularly spooked, so I kept playing.

_He_ kept staring, and although I knew what I was supposed to do, which was go running towards any parental unit, I turned to face the stranger. My own 5-year-old self couldn't deny the pull towards the mysterious, that craving to face the unfamiliar, the almost morbid case of curiosity.

The old man was wearing a long coat, he was kneeling on the other edge of the sandbox. He had so many wrinkles, I remember thinking at the time, he seemed to be made out of paper. He had so many creases and lines around his eyes that I couldn't even tell the color of his irises. They were so small, his eyes, two little dots in the center of his face. He was smiling at me, a sad kind of smile. He never spoke, he just stared at me and I stared back. When my mom came looking for me she asked me what I was doing, and I made the first of many _many_ mistakes, that would come to define my life.

I told her about the old man, who of course, she couldn't see. I pointed, cried, shrieked but she couldn't see him. People around me started noticing my outburst and they stood there, staring at me, giving my mom sympathetic looks.

Why she couldn't see him? What was wrong with her?

Later, I came to realize there was nothing wrong with her. There was something wrong with me.

Eventually the old man stood up and walked away, into the cover of the trees and disappeared. No one said anything, no one looked at him, they just stared at me. My mom tried to calm me down, she held me and started sobbing. Now that I look back I can almost sense what she was feeling then, what she was thinking. Probably something like: You wanted a son? Congratulations, here, have a freak.

I should've kept my mouth shut after that, but I was a fucking kid and I was scared. So for the next following years I kept trying to convince my parents that what I was seeing was real. It didn't matter when or where it happened, to me it was another opportunity to convince them of my sanity. As soon as I felt the chill, the goosebumps, the feeling of being watched, I turned to them. As I grew up my attempt to prove them wrong surpassed my survival instinct, and I started trying to reach the shades (as I later started calling them). However, it was like I could never get close enough, they always walked away, disappeared before I could even get near.

Me: Mom, look! Can't you see him?

Esme: Who, honey?

Me: The boy. The dead boy, he's standing right over there.

Esme: (sigh) Not here, please Edward.

Me: Mom, please. Try to see him. Just try. Pleasepleaseplease.

Esme: (sobbing) There's no one there baby.

Me: Please.

Esme: (holding me) There's never someone there.

It didn't take long for Esme and Carlisle to convince themselves that I needed _special_ help. It would only take a few sessions, they thought, everything will be alright.

After six years, six fucking years (I was a stubborn little shit), of psychiatric treatment I came to the realization that no one was ever going to believe me. So I did what everyone expected me to do. I got better.

I started acting normal again, I made friends, I was perfect. My teenage years came with expected rebelliousness, a lot of girls and not a single mention of my troubled past. I never saw a shade again.

Only I did, but I knew better then.

The year I smoked my first cigarette and kissed a girl I learned how to keep my goddamned mouth shut.

**Crazy meets his Elysium**

I arrived at the school's parking lot and sighed to myself. I still couldn't believe I was going to spend my junior and senior year in fucking Forks.

When my dad first told me he was being transferred to Washington to become the chief surgeon of a small town I almost screamed _Bullshit!_ at him. Did I say almost? I actually did yelled that at him, and kicked a chair and stormed out of the house. Very teenagery of me. I spent the rest of that day smoking weed and playing GTA at a friend's house. I came home the day after and it was as if nothing had happened. Two weeks later we were on our way to Forks.

I stepped out of the car and grabbed my bag. I was itching for a smoke.

A blonde girl approached me suddenly. She had a really big rack and she knew it. She had the whole Scarlet Johansson vibe going on, she was taller though. All in all she was hot, but not my type.

She was standing next to my car with her eyes squinted. Didn't even look in my direction.

"Uh, can I help you?" I asked her.

"Q7?" She asked in return, her eyes still trained on my car.

"Yeah." I answered.

She nodded once and turned to face me. "Sweet ride. I'm Rosalie."

"You like cars huh?"

"I like ice cream, I absolutely love cars." I was starting to like this chick.

I smiled and nodded. "I'm Edward."

She was about to say something when a guy called out her name. "That's Emmett, my boyfriend," she said, pointing at him. "Bell's about to ring. See ya."

I was about to head inside when I saw a matte black G-Wagon approaching way too fast. I thought whoever was driving it was gonna crash another car but ended up avoiding it at the last second. The shitty driver parked about three cars away and I winced when it passed mine.

I shook my head, amazed at how some people were actually allowed to drive. That shit should be illegal.

I heard the car door opening and for some reason I decided to check who was the infamous pilot. I sure as hell wasn't expecting what I saw.

Rosalie was hot, very much so, but she wasn't my cup of tea. Unlike the majority of the male population I didn't like huge boobs, or blonde hair. Oh no, I preferred by far long legs, slim build, narrow waist, messy hair and that's exactly what came out of that car.

In a pair of black Doc Martens and a gait that couldn't exude more confidence she strode past me, leaving me standing there like a complete fucking moron. In all my life I'd never been so attracted to someone and all I had was the image of her walking away from me and the scent of strawberries.


	2. Two

**TWO**

**The curious case of Alice Brandon**

"How was school today honey?"

"Good, mom." I muttered, suddenly very pissed at the stupid plate in front of me.

Actually it hadn't been a bad day. Classes were a fucking joke, people weren't as bad as I thought. I got to meet Emmett, who is the funniest motherfucker on the planet. Another unexpected but very pleasant occurrence was meeting Jasper Whitlock.

He was very quiet, fucker didn't smile much and he was pretty cool (he drove a Camaro). We smoked together after school and I was relieved to have found someone to hang out with.

Yeah, it was a good day, except for one thing.

Bella Swan.

The worst(sexiest) driver in America.

After our little encounter I couldn't take her off my mind. Even though the school was minimal I didn't spot her in any of my classes. It pissed me off. Let me rephrase: The fact that I couldn't concentrate on anything other than her pissed me off.

Finally at lunch I saw her. I was sitting with Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper and a bunch of people whose names I didn't care to remember, when she walked in. Her strides were confident, sexy. Her long hair was wavy, a perfect mess. She had the hair of a porn star and the walk of a runway model. I was so concentrated on watching her that I didn't realize she was strolling towards the table where I was sitting. She sat next to Jasper.

The fucker gave her a small smile, and she gave him one in return and muttered a soft _hey. _

Okay this is where I started to get really pissed off. Rosalie decided to introduce us and it went something like this:

Rosalie: Bella princess, have you met Edward?

Bella: No.

Rosalie: Well, Edward, Bella. Bella, Edward.

Me: (Crooked smile) Hey.

Bella: (No smile) Hi.

Me: (Intent stare)

Bella: (Nothing)

Me: (_Come on pretty girl, talk to me._)

Bella: (Turns and starts talking to Jasper)

Emmett: Hey douches, my place this weekend!

I had two theories about what happened. Either she was a lesbian, or a complete bitch. Ever since puberty I've been practically assaulted by the female population, so the fact that she didn't even give me a once over really startled me. She seemed a little standoffish, but it had something to do with her poise rather than her attitude. She wasn't a bitch per say, but something about the way she carried herself gave the impression that she was off-limits.

I'll be damned if I said that didn't excite me. I realized I liked her even more then.

She was a challenge, my very own Pandora's box. My little own mystery to uncover. My curiosity as always, getting the best of me.

Still, I was pissed that she treated me like a pariah.

My mom, ever the perceptive woman, noticed something was bothering me. "What is it, baby?" She asked while I was finishing my dinner on the kitchen island.

I quickly shoved the rest of the food down and stood up to put it on the dishwater. "Nothing, just tired." I said, giving her a kiss on the head.

I went to my room and suddenly feeling very tired I took a nap. When I woke up I decided to go for a smoke. I wanted to get out of the house for a while, so I put my shoes on, grabbed my stuff and made my way downstairs.

Our house was a bit in the outskirts of town. It was an old house that had been restored, and my mom fell in love with it from the moment she saw it online. She couldn't stop talking about the wooden floors, the massive curving staircase, the thick carpets, the fucking walls. I hadn't seen it till we got here, and I had to admit it was pretty sweet.

My favorite thing was by far the view it had. The back wall, the whole damn thing, had been replaced with glass, and you could see the forest and a little further, the river.

Once I made it outside I realized it was freezing. I had the clothes I had been wearing earlier that day but since it was near twilight, the temperature had dropped.

I walked towards the back of the house and headed up towards the river. I found a huge rock after a moment and decided it was a good spot. I lit the cigarette and took a long drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs. As soon as I blew the cloud of smoke I realized I felt a little warmer but I'd definitely freeze my ass off if I stayed too long.

I was about to take another drag when I heard something to my right. I turned around and found a girl about my age staring at me. I immediately tensed and clenched my hands into tight fists.

"Hey," she said smiling. "You're gonna get cancer."

I instantly relaxed and snorted. "Everything can get you cancer."

She approached me and chuckled. "I guess you're right. I'm Alice."

"Edward."

I glanced back at her and realized she was really fucking small. All short black hair and white skin. She had jeans and a pink sweater.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

She shrugged her shoulders and looked around, "I like the forest, sometimes I take walks."

I nodded and took another drag. "Well be careful, you can get hypothermia. Its fucking freezing."

"Oh, really?" She cocked her head to the side and frowned a little. "I hadn't realize. Maybe I'm just used to it, I've lived here my whole life."

That explains it. "Yeah, I'm from California. Not used to this."

She bounced on her feet and clapped her hands, "Oh, you're the new guy!"

I chuckled at her ridiculousness, "Have they been talking about me?"

"A little, but don't worry. I just happen to hear a lot of things."

"Oh, so you like to eavesdrop?"

"Something like that," she said, giggling

I suddenly realized I hadn't seen her today. "Hey, were you at school?" I asked. "I didn't see you."

She shook her head. "Nope, I wasn't there today."

I returned my attention to my cigarette. "Lucky."

She was now sitting on the ground in front of me. I thought she would've minded getting dirty but apparently she didn't.

"You're a junior?" I asked suddenly.

She nodded and bit her lip. "You made friends?"

"Uh, sure." She was waiting for me to elaborate, so with a sigh I continued. "There was Rosalie, big tits, likes cars."

Alice laughed. "That's probably the best description of her I've heard so far."

I chuckled at that and continued telling her about Emmett and some other people whose names I honestly didn't know. She seemed to know all of them so it didn't take long before we started this game where I'd describe someone and she guessed their names.

"Glasses. Can't stand eye contact."

"Angela!"

"Asian. Tries too hard."

"Eric!"

"Dumb and blond."

"Mike!"

"Hair bigger than her brain."

"Jessica."

After a few more rounds we were laughing our asses off. That was until I described Jasper.

"Brooding. Tall. Owns a Camaro."

She went silent. I turned to look at her and she was staring at the ground, biting her lip.

"Come on, that one's easy." I said, trying to relieve some of the tension.

She smiled, a sad kind of smile, and without been able to stop it, for a second I got transported to a sandbox so many years ago.

I shook my head trying to clear it and felt the sudden urge to change the subject. "Hey, do you know Bella Swan?" As soon as the words left my mouth I wanted to bash my head against the fucking rock I was sitting on.

Alice, ignoring my discomfort, grinned. "You met Bella!" She said excitedly. "Isn't she _sooo_ beautiful? Have you seen her legs? I always told her she's gonna be a model. I got so pissed at her when she told me she wanted to become a journalist. Total waste of potential! What do you think?"

I stared at her, not knowing what to say. "Uh, I guess." I said, sounding like a total imbecile. "Are you two close?"

She nodded, "More than close. She's my cousin, we practically grew up together."

At that moment my phone started buzzing. It was my mom, probably wondering where I was. I ignored the call. I was gonna head inside soon anyway, I was freezing.

"Hey," I said to Alice. "I'm gonna go. You need a ride or anything?"

She stood up and dusted herself off. "Nah, I live close and as I told you before, I like to walk."

I wasn't convinced but she assured me she was going to be fine.

As soon as I was inside I sent my mom a text telling her I had been taking a walk. I slept soundlessly that night.

The next day was a lot like the day before, with a significant difference. I now not only spent my time looking for Bella, but also for a small dark-haired girl.

I hadn't seen Alice that day either so during lunch I decided to ask if anyone knew where she was.

"Hey," I said to Emmett who was sitting across from me. "Have you seen Alice?"

As soon as I said it I knew something was wrong. I felt everyone's eyes on me. No one was talking.

"What did you say?" I turned to look at whomever asked me and realized with a frown that it had been Bella and she was pissed. Scary type of pissed.

She was intimidating, but I wasn't a pussy and I still was a little pissed that after she decided to ignore me for two days these were her first words to me. "Are you deaf? I was asking about Alice."

We were in a staring contest, Bella and I. Neither of us were blinking. I could only hear the sound of her breathing. After what felt like hours(more like 17 seconds) she stood up and walked towards where I was sitting. My heart was beating hard, but I didn't waver. Her big hazel eyes were focused only on me and even though the circumstances weren't exactly ideal, I was pleased that at last she had noticed me.

When she was next to me, so close I could smell her, she leaned close to my face and without missing a beat she said, "Fuck you." With that she turned around and left the cafeteria, leaving me and everyone else with mouths agape and trying to catch our breaths.


	3. Three

**THREE**

**Hurts like heaven**

As soon as I got home I didn't even bother on entering the house. Instead I went straight to the spot where I had sat the night before.

Before I had reach it though, I was already screaming.

"Alice! You little shit, come out!"

After Bella had strode out of the cafeteria no one had said a word. I kept looking at everyone with a _what the fuck?_ expression but it didn't work. Emmett, for instance, just shrugged his shoulders and replied with a quiet "Sour subject".

No shit, Emmett.

I didn't see Bella for the rest of the day but I already had a suspicion growing in my head. I mulled it over during my last period and when the last bell rang I was sure I needed confirmation. When I arrived at the parking lot I immediately saw Jasper leaning against his Camaro and smoking a cigarette.

I was anxious for some reason, but once again I just needed to know what was going on, if what I was thinking was true. I fucking hoped it wasn't.

He saw me approaching and didn't say anything, he just kept smoking and looking at me with his eyes squinted.

"Hey," I said.

He nodded without changing his position.

"I wanted to ask you something," I continued. "What happened before in the cafeteria?"

He sighed and dropped his cigarette on the floor, stepping on it. "You shouldn't have done that."

I was getting a little fucking annoyed by the fact that he didn't answer my question. "I still don't get what the fucking big deal is." I said looking at him, he didn't change his expression. Fucker was good. "Unless it is a big deal."

He didn't say anything and I had a feeling he wasn't going to. I was treading on a fine line but I needed to know.

"Look dude, I know it's not my business but..." I paused not knowing how to continue. Should I tell him the truth? No fucking way. That was out of the question. I decided to just go for it. Throw caution out of the fucking window and get it out with, I'd deal with the consequences later. "Did something happen to Alice?"

That finally got a reaction out of him. He closed his eyes and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He had a particular expression on his face, one I had seen too many times on my mother's face. It was the expression she always wore after I had one of my 'episodes'. I knew exactly what it meant, I knew it since the first time I saw it.

Grief over something out of your control.

Just like my mom had, Jasper Whitlock felt helpless.

I was about to turn around and leave when he suddenly spoke. "She disappeared last year."

I nodded, having being confirmed what I already knew but with a new revelation that made me fucking cringe.

He had been close with her, that much I realized. He had probably been the subject of pity for too long, and from my own experience I knew that pity made everything worse.

"Well, that sucks."

He kinda smiled, but not quite, and nodded at me. "It really does."

I left with a strange feeling on my body, one I couldn't quite explain. When I was inside my car I just sat there and tried to organize my thoughts.

From my conversation with Jasper I gathered that something did happen to Alice. He had said that she disappeared. Thousands of kids get lost, seem to vanish out of thin air, kidnapped maybe, runways. Some, not many, find their way back. The majority don't though. And it was that uncertainty that didn't let people move on. That hope that maybe he or she will find their way back, that not everything's lost.

Hope is sometimes what keeps people alive, but sometimes it's also what keeps them from living.

There was no hope for Alice. I was sure of this, I had _seen_ her. I had _felt_ it, but decided to ignore it.

Alice was dead, but how the fuck was I going to tell them that?

"Come on, Alice! Come out wherever the fuck you are!" I continued screaming at the top of my lungs, not caring if my mother heard.

She came out of the forest to my left. She was wearing the same clothes I saw her with the day before. Shocker.

"You little fucking liar," I said before she could come closer.

She flinched at my tone and I almost felt bad. She was so fucking small, but I had to remind myself what she was. She was one of _them_. She wasn't supposed to be here.

"I didn't lie to you."

I snorted. "Oh really? You wanna get technical? You didn't tell me you were fucking dead, excuse me if I feel a little deceived."

She looked to the floor and bit her lip. "I couldn't tell you."

I began pacing in front of her. "Oh and why's that? Please enlighten me."

She sighed. "I don't know. There are rules and I just can't say. I'm sorry."

Was she fucking kidding me? "Rules? By whom? God?" I said my voice dripping with disbelief and contempt.

He shook her head. "I don't know. I just know there are rules and I can't tell anyone I'm dead."

This shit was beginning to get ridiculous and I had too many questions now. I ran my hand repeatedly through my hair, "How come you can talk to me? You're the first shade that's done that." She stared at me frowning. "That's how I call you guys." I said in way of explanation.

She nodded. "I honestly don't know. But I need you to-"

"Wait!" I said, interrupting her in the middle of whatever she was going to ask. "You said you couldn't tell you're dead to anyone. Does that mean that others can see you?"

She shrugged as if it was obvious. "Yes."

"Holy shit," I said.

My head was about to blow up to pieces. This day had been a fucking twilight zone. Well, in all fairness, my life was a constant twilight zone but still, this day had been pretty weird.

I was beginning to process the fact that there were others like me. I didn't know how to feel. Could I have met one and not know? That didn't seem like it. If I had met someone like me I would've noticed, I was sure of it.

I returned my attention back to Alice. "Who?"

She shook her head and I felt the sudden urge to kick something. "Sorry. Another rule, can't tell."

I sighed in frustration. "What the fuck do you mean with 'another rule'? You don't even know who gives them, just tell me. Who cares? I mean, how do you even know it is a rule?"

"I can't explain it, I just know. It's something bigger than me, or you, and I just can't okay? I'm sorry."

She did sound sorry, but I still didn't get it. How can you follow orders from something or someone you don't even know or haven't seen? "That's bullshit."

"That's the way it is. I guess you'll understand one day." She said and then turned even more serious. "Edward you have to help Bella."

That definitely caught my attention. "Help her? From what?"

"She's in trouble."

That was all it took. Four minutes later I was speeding through the streets of Forks looking for the place Alice told me Bella was going to be. She told me she 'had to go' and couldn't come with me. That chick was complicated.

I arrived at Demetri Volturi's house not knowing exactly what I was going to find inside. I could feel the low thumping of the bass from the music and I felt suddenly anxious. This was my kind of scene back in Chicago. What the fuck was Bella doing here?

I knock loudly on the front door. No one answered.

I turned the knob and it was unlocked. I entered the house and found myself surrounded by the familiar heavy smell of weed and the comforting _thumpthump_ of the music blasting. I closed the door and made my way through the spacious foyer. The first opening to my left showed what I supposed was the living room. There were a few bodies scattered across the expensive couches and people laughing in that way only stoners do. I should know.

I didn't see Bella there so I continued until I reached the kitchen. There were some guys on an island in the middle of the room. One of them noticed my presence and came to stand in front of me. He had grey eyes, and was almost as tall as me. He stood with such confidence and easiness that it lead me to believe that it was his place.

"Who are you?" He said, studying me, trying to decipher me.

"I'm Edward. You must me Demetri." I said.

He frowned, his stare never wavering. "Well you know who I am, that leaves me in disadvantage Edward." He said in a light manner, but I knew the likes of him. He didn't joke around.

"I'm looking for someone." In that moment I saw a guy using a credit card to line up a white powder on the table. Demetri followed my gaze and turned to look at me again, smirking.

"Want some?"

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I definitely did.

I remembered Bella and tried to keep my head straight. "Uh, maybe later. I'm looking for Bella Swan. You know her?" I asked instead.

He smiled and shrugged, "Yeah, I know her. She's upstairs. First room to the left."

I nodded and turned around before I ended up doing something stupid. When I reached the room where Bella was supposed to be in I didn't even knock. I barged in and right away noticed it was a sort of office. There were a couple of guys doing coke on a bureau to my right and in front of me, sprawled on a sofa, was Bella. I knew she was high, and I knew I had to get her out of there.

The guys didn't notice when I entered the room but one of them did notice when I walked towards Bella.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He was taller than me, with black hair and dark eyes. He had muscles but I didn't feel worried in the slightest. I learned how to fight a long time ago.

"Get out of my way if you don't want me to break your face," I said.

The other guy appeared beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. He looked a little like him, but leaner and way smaller. "Chill, Jake."

Jake suddenly pointed towards were Bella was laid down. "You are not touching her." His eyes were blazing and I wanted to fucking scream. The motherfucker liked her. Perfect.

"I'm not saying it again. Get out of my face." I was fucking livid, I was barely containing my anger.

His friend must've seen that and once again tried to persuade him to move. I took advantage of the fact that Jake was distracted and punched him straight on his face. His hands went up to cover his nose as he yelled in pain and fell on his knees to the floor. His hands were covered in blood.

"I warned you." I stepped over him and went over to Bella. She was out of it, mumbling shit I couldn't understand.

I put my arms under her knees and back and lifted her up easily, she weighed almost nothing. I walked out of the room leaving Jake cursing and threatening me from the floor. Stupid dog.

When I was almost to my car Bella opened her eyes and stared at me. Her eyes were ridiculously big, all golden and green, even though her pupils were fucking huge.

I smiled down at her. "Hey."

She didn't say anything, just kept staring at me. I maneuvered her so I could open the door of the passenger seat and gently sat her inside. I made my way towards the other side and got in. When we were both inside the car I turned my head to look at her but she was staring at the window.

I wondered what she was on, since it obviously wasn't cocaine. She was on a downer; I hoped she wasn't on heroine, but I couldn't see her arms. "What are you on?"

She sighed. "Pills," she said, without looking at me.

I nodded, still a little worried but relieved at the same time. "Where do you live?"

She shook her head, "I don't want to go home."

I didn't know what to say. "Okay."

"Can I stay at your place?"

I almost thought she was kidding, but one look at her face told me she wasn't. The first thing that came to my mind was: _Didn't you hate me?_

"Sure," I replied. I hoped that my parents were in their room when I came home, since I didn't feel like explaining why a girl was staying over on a Tuesday.

We drove in silence and when we got to my house I parked and told her she had to be quiet. We climbed the stairs and reached my room without any trouble. When we got there I had one of those moments when everything around just goes silent and you're left there, victim of your thoughts and the reality of things. Everything that had happened came crashing down and the anxiety returned.

"Fuck, I need to sit down." I said while sitting on the edge of my head. I leaned in, resting my elbows on my thighs. I felt tired, very tired. I chanced a look at Bella, who was staring intently outside the window. She looked tired too.

"You want something to sleep in?" I asked, trying to be polite and shit.

She nodded and I went to my closet to get her one of my shirts. I gave it to her and she took it mumbling a soft 'thanks'. I was about to point her to the bathroom but apparently she had other plans. Before I could even say a word she took her leather jacket off, followed by her shirt and then her jeans. She stood there in nothing more than her bra and panties and I stood there, gawking at her, forgetting all about being tired.

I wasn't sure about anything on this life, except for one thing.

Bella was the single most heartbreakingly beautiful thing on this universe, of that I had no doubt in my mind.

She was all pale skin, dark long hair, and piercing bright eyes. I felt the sudden urge to run my thumb over her soft pink lips. She had the prettiest fucking mouth. _Strawberry._

She put my shirt on and it swallowed her, reaching the middle of her thighs. Everything about her, every fucking thing seemed to take my breath away. I was in a constant state of awe around her.

She made her way towards my bed and slipped under the covers. I was left there, in the middle of the room, trying to catch my breath once again.

"I guess I'll just sleep on the couch," I said, to no one in particular.

She heard me though, and without raising herself from the bed she spoke. "Come here." Since I was absolutely under this girl's spell I did as told. I sat beside her on the edge of the bed. "Can you stay here until I fall asleep?"

I nodded.

Her eyes were already closing.

I touched her hair, feeling like a fucking creep, but not caring that much.

I tried to count the little freckles on the bridge of her nose.

Her breathing evened out.

"It fucking hurts to look at you," I whispered.


	4. Four

**FOUR**

**The importance of take-out**

I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I reached for my phone on the floor next to my couch, where I had put it the night before.

I stretched and cracked my neck. My couch was pretty fucking comfortable, but I was used to sleeping on a big ass mattress. At least I knew of someone must have gotten a good sleep. I cranked my head to the left to see Bella, who had been as quiet as a mouse the whole night, only to find myself staring at an empty bed.

My brain took exactly 5 seconds to process that information.

I immediately bolted out of the couch, as if it had caught fire and for some stupid reason decided that she must have been hiding. I went to the bathroom, no sign of her. Closet, not even a whiff. Under the bed, nothing. I was starting to think that she had gone somewhere during the night. Maybe someone picked her up, since she hadn't brought a car. It wasn't until I decided to head downstairs for something to eat that I noticed her clothes on the floor. I got closer and picked her jacket up, and since I had turned into a creep and couldn't help myself, I smelled it. I was a disgrace.

Her shirt and boots were still there, but her jeans were nowhere in sight. I didn't know what to make of it, and leaving her clothes on my bed I went downstairs.

As soon as reached the bottom of the stairs I heard voices coming from the kitchen. Voices, as in plural, which was totally weird since my dad was always out before I woke up. I recognized my mom's laughter and I would be lying if I said my heart didn't do a fucking flip inside my chest when I heard the other voice.

I made my way into the kitchen and was greeted by the smell of pancakes. How cliché.

My mom was chopping some strawberries while Bella watched her from the kitchen island. Her right hand was cupping her chin while she rested her arm on the counter; she was watching my mom as if she was the most interesting creature on the planet. I glanced down at her legs and saw she had her jeans on.

She was wearing my shirt.

In that moment my mom acknowledged I was there. "Good morning honey; don't stay there standing like a fool, come take a seat." Jesus mom.

I tentatively went to sit on a stool next to Bella. She smiled softly when she saw me.

My mom, apparently thinking she had to embarrass me to ensure she was doing a good job as a mother, decided to speak. "Next time one of your friend's staying over you should tell me Edward. You don't know how embarrassing it was when Bella came into the kitchen earlier and I didn't even know her name!"

I smirked at her and shrugged my shoulders. "Oops."

"I hope it doesn't happen again." She said frowning at me and then turned to Bella, all smiles then. "What was I saying before my inconsiderate son appeared?"

Bella chuckled and put a strand of hair behind her ear. "You were telling me about how you learned to cook."

My mom smiled and dried her hands on her apron. "Oh yes! Well, I married Carlisle fairly young and believe me when I tell you there's only so much take-out a body can sustain."

Bella nodded, smiling. "I know exactly what you mean."

"Your parents don't cook?" My mom said, frowning. I was actually interested in the conversation, since I didn't know much about the intriguing girl sitting next to me.

Bella's smile dropped, but her expression was neutral. She reminded me a little of Jasper in that moment. They never gave anything away. If I hadn't been paying attention I probably wouldn't have noticed that the subject bothered her, but since I was _always_ paying attention to her, I did. "I only live with my dad and neither of us can cook. We have someone that comes to cook once in a while, but most of the time it's take-out."

She only lived with her father. Had her mother left? Fuck, what if she had died? Maybe that's why she appeared so closed-off, she had lost both her mother and cousin. I really hoped her mom was alive. Being surrounded by so much death could really take a toll on someone, I could vouch for that.

"Well Bella dear, you're more than welcome to stay for dinner anytime you want, in fact, I insist." Esme Cullen's motherly instinct never took a rest.

Bella smiled again and thanked her. I realized that I hadn't seen her smile this much since I met her. Her smiles were rare treasures that I had unknowingly began to crave.

"Good," Esme said while setting a plate filled with fruit and pancakes in front of both of us. "Eat," she ordered.

"Yes ma'am." I said, giving her a mock salute. I caught Bella trying to hide a smile and I swore I heard a crowd cheering.

After we were done eating I asked Bella to wait for me while I took a quick shower so I could take her home. As soon as I was done I changed into my clothes, picked up her stuff and went to meet with her downstairs. To say my mom was delighted with Bella was an understatement, before we left she made her promise to come for dinner sometime. At least the fascination seemed to be both ways. Bella hugged her and told her she'd be back.

Well… nice played mom.

Once we were inside my car I rolled the windows down and grabbed a cigarette. I offered her one, not knowing if she smoked, but she said she was okay.

She told me to drop her off at Demetri's since she had left her car there yesterday.

"Did my mom ask you why you stayed over?" I asked when we were close to Demetri's house.

She was resting her head on the window, her hand playing with the wind. I curled my hand to keep from touching her. "Yeah, I told her I was having a rough night and didn't want to go home."

I nodded and took a long drag of my cigarette. "Yeah, she's cool."

"She's amazing." She said, her hair was blowing with the wind, and I surprised myself by taking note again how beautiful she was. She had turned me into such a pussy.

"Your dad won't mind?" I knew my parents were pretty laid back, but I had no idea if Bella's dad was too.

"Nope," she replied, shaking her head a bit. "He wants me to have experiences."

Well, I wasn't exactly sure that what she was doing yesterday was the kind of experience he had in mind.

We arrived at Demetri's sooner that I would've liked. I threw my cigarette with a flick and ran a hand through my hair. "Look Bella, what happened yesterday… I didn't know." It was lame, but I didn't have anything better.

She didn't say anything for a moment. I was starting to feel anxious when she spoke up. "How did you know about her?"

Shit.

Of course she was going to ask that. I should've thought of something. Fuck. I couldn't tell her the truth, but my mind was blank.

And then the fucking clouds parted and I had a revelation. I almost started singing Hallelujah.

"I heard some girls in the hallway mentioning they hadn't seen your cousin Alice. I shouldn't have asked though, curiosity seems to always get the best out of me." I hoped that sounded believable, it was the best I could come up with.

"Yeah, whatever," she said, opening her door. "Thanks, by the way." With that she got out and closed the door, walking towards her car.

I waited until she was inside before I sped up towards school. I was early, but I figured I could stay listening to music in my car while I waited.

I arrived at school a few minutes later. Everything in this town was close by, something I was still getting used to. There were only a handful of cars in the parking lot. I searched through my iPod for a good song and settled on The xx. As soon as I heard the beginning of 'Infinity' I felt my body relaxing. I wished I had some pot with me.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about anything. Out of nowhere I felt my skin raising into goosebumps, it was unbelievably cold. It had happened too many times before for me not to realize what was going on. Before I had always closed my eyes and ignored the feeling, that gnawing in the pit of my stomach, the sensation of being watched. That morning though, something made me look. I didn't know what it was but I couldn't resist the impulse. I turned my head to my left, and there, right next to the main building, standing close to the wall but not actually touching it, was a shade.

He had one of those faces that didn't give away his age. He could've been 15 or 20. He had ripped jeans and a plaid shirt. He didn't approach me, he didn't say a word, he just stared, just wanting to be noticed I guess. I stared back. We stayed like that until more cars started arriving.

When the bell rang I sighed, took my things and left the car. I didn't look at him again.

Sometimes I wondered what had happened to them. Were they on an accident? Were they murdered? Suicide?

That was the kind of questions I made myself. What had happened to them?

But as I walked the hallway towards my first class I found myself wondering something different.

Who was he?

Who was the young boy with shredded jeans and a stern expression on his face?

What kind of person had he been?

I'd never thought about them in that way before. Never thought of their lives _before._

A chill made its way into my bones, leaving me cold and sullen.

I strode into Biology and scanned the room for a free seat. I found one in the back of the room, next to no other than Bella, who was wearing a green sweater that made her wide eyes look bright and clear.

I approached her with my hands inside my pockets.

I sat down on the stool.

She smiled at me. I smiled back.

She didn't return my shirt. She still had it. Maybe she wanted to keep it.

All of a sudden I didn't feel cold anymore.


End file.
